Connections

I taught my first classroom lesson in February 1974, the start of a career which would last until July 2019, all of it spent in English comprehensive schools. Those 45 years have inspired an entertaining collection of anecdotes which are certain to make you laugh.

From university japes to baking mad teachers and the inside story on the OFSTED inspection. Prepare to be tickled by the bomb in the school toilets, the problem with interviews and the policeman with the brick.

All fictional, of course, but based on genuine experience.

Looking back on my life, there are plenty of stories to tell, but my adventures in Russia always attract the most interest from my audience. “Why were you there?” they ask, “How did you get out?” Putting politics aside, there was much to enjoy. The people were friendly, the vodka was cheap and the girls were beautiful. Then my luck took a wry turn and I ended up arrested and detained in a police station. What better way to pass the time than to share a few funny stories. What follows is a fascinating mosaic of entertaining anecdotes and tales, many of them hilarious and some which are thought provoking, but all based on genuine experience. Finally the situation reaches its natural climax, with a court appearance, then an ending with something of a twist. “How much is true?” I hear you ask. “How much of this is really you?”I don’t reply. I tell you to work it out for yourself, but I know that one day very soon you will be talking with a friend and you will say “I heard this hilarious story the other day …